i just want you to know that i am starting to understand you now, now that some of these things have been made clear. i do not claim to know everything, but God knows how many times i have led you to think that i did. forgive me for the times that i acted like that, even when i knew i didn't have a clue at all.

seriously, all men should be given the privilege of true enlightenment when it comes to understanding you. i don't claim to have reached that point myself, but even as i'm beginning to know you, i feel that an apology must be extended. i cannot speak for all men, of course, but as one man i ask -- forgive me for all the things i have assumed, for the way that my heart and mind has led me to treat you, for the way i have promoted my self as being above you. [i am not.]

God bless you for keeping me sane, for balancing the world with your heart. some would say you're nothing but a big bag of "emotional". i want you to know that's a lie. if you are labeled "emotional", we might as well label all men... well, "horndogs". i know that you are emotional at times, sometimes more than what i can deal with... sometimes more than what i think is enough for a certain situation. but i want you to know that i have begun to understand -- it's not all your fault. it's also because we men can't deal with the fact that you are different and as such deal with things differently. we men caryy ourselves this way because want to be labeled "rational". i want you to know that sometimes i just do that for people to think that i am in control. i fact, most times i'm as helpless as you are, and i'm just too weak to admit it.

when people say that you are weak, i want you to know that's a lie. i know of your strength, because God designed you to be man's support. i want you to know that your help in keeping us men balanced is invaluable during times when we try to take on the world through sheer bluster. most times, it is your gentleness and warmth that creates an atmosphere of peace around my mind -- i can make my decisions within reach of love and grace given to me by God through you. i apologize because most times you are the one who takes the brunt of the emotions that i am too conscious to let out in public. when in anger i get frustrated at my helplessness and at the fact that i have to make the call just the same, i know that you are there to take the edge off my frustrations, with the warmth that you offer.

i apologize because though i never admit it, i lead you into the future with nothing sure but my next step, if at all. most times, i run blind and make the decisions by the seat of my pants. when i fall and make wrong decisions, i look for others to blame. how come we men never have the guts to apologize for the wrong decisions that we make, playing down the gravity of the mistake with the "i had to make the decision" excuse? and we have the guts to call you "unsure"? truth is, if i had to make these decisions on my own, they would be a hundred times harder without you here beside me.

i pray that we learn this, and better sooner than later -- this life was meant to be lived out by you and me, TOGETHER. you have an equal part in this as i have. true, i may have the last word on most issues, but the weight will always always be too heavy for me without you there. i cannot live my life alone, for God has designed me to be with you. your life is not inferior to mine, as my survival is totally dependent on how well you support me.

and in there lies the catch that most men miss -- my survival in this life planned out for me depends heavily on you, because it was planned out for you as well. your survival in this life depends largely on the decisions i make for us, so we better work this out together. surely, alone, we will fall and be food for bitterness and defeat. i thank God that He has made this plain now.

i need you. this helpless, hapless man needs the gentle push from you. know that the steps of faith i take are all the more complete when you say "go ahead, take it for us."

there is strength in you that a man would never ever know. let no one tell you otherwise.

*photo courtesy of shutterstock